Marketing executives are kind of like greeting card writers – it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to be a good one, but there is a kind of art to communicating a desired mood or idea in a limited amount of space. Just look at the impact a good movie tagline can have: “In space, no one can hear you scream” (
Alien, as if you didn’t already know) has inspired almost as many tagline copycats as the actual movie did cinematic ones.
On the flip side, a bad tagline has the capacity to either make a negative impression on moviegoers or – even worse – to make no impression at all. Surprisingly, some truly great films have been saddled with some less-than-stellar taglines over the years, which ironically stands as a testament to how good said films really are.
More common, though, are the cases in which the films and their respective taglines are of a piece, quality-wise – both deserving of their places in the cultural gutter. Be it awkward grammar (don’t the people who write these things double-check their work?), misused words (I’m pretty sure dictionaries have been around for awhile now), or just plain awfulness, following is my list of the ten worst taglines in horror film history.
And please, if I missed one of your favorites wishing me a slow and agonizing death, simply leave it in the comments section for everyone else to enjoy. And
then wish me a slow and agonizing death.
10. Psycho (1960)
Tagline: "A new -- and altogether different -- screen excitement!!!"
It’s not only “different”, it’s “altogether different”, which makes it even more different than normal.
9. King Kong (1976)
Tagline: “The most exciting original motion picture event of all time.”
If this is the most exciting original motion picture event of all time, I’m taking a leap off the nearest skyscraper.
8. Frogs (1972)
Tagline: “TODAY – the Pond! TOMORROW – the World!”
According to a recent study, the word “pond” is second only to “lavender” in its ability to block the effects of fear on the human psyche.
7. Tourist Trap (1979)
Tagline: “Every Year Young People Disappear”
I concur.
6. Dracula’s Daughter (1936)
Tagline: “She gives you that weird feeling!”
I don’t know what “weird” is supposed to mean exactly, but whatever it is, I’m pretty sure it’s lame.
5. Silent Rage (1982)
Tagline: “Science created him. Now Chuck Norris must destroy him.”
“Sir, Chuck Norris is on the phone again -- I tried to get rid of him, but he keeps saying he has a good idea for the poster.”
4. The Flesh Eaters (1964)
Tagline: "The only people who will not be STERILIZED with FEAR are those among you who are already DEAD!"
I never really wanted children anyway.
3. Mothra (1961)
Tagline: Mightiest monster in all creation! Ravishing a universe for love!
Ok, either the marketing team didn’t know the difference between a verb and an adjective, or Mothra is…raping the universe?
2. A*P*E (1976)
Tagline: “Not to be confused with KING KONG.”
This stands as the first movie poster I legitimately felt sorry for as if it were a sentient being.
1. Shatter Dead (1994)
Tagline: “GOD HATES YOU!”
You are nothing but an inconsequential larva squirming beneath the filthy boot-heel of the hateful universe -- now go see our movie!
Linear Mode
