The Church of Dudebro

[jim5cents]

Continued from another thread per request of Kong

Originally Posted by kong

1. All of the old testament was originally oral history the same as the Iliad and the Odessey. And much of the New Testament. There is not one part of the Bible that was written while Jesus was alive so all of the Jesus quotes are merely hearsay.
2. There is absolutely zero corroboration outside of the Bible that Jews lived in Egypt or that any of that Exodus stuff ever happened. There is almost no outside corroburation that a man named Jesus ever lived. Certainly not enough to say it is historical fact that he did exist. I don't know about the Cannan part.

i misspoke, the events of the bible should be refered to as religious history, many studies attempt to tie in roman, greek, egyptian, and mesopotiam histories and find the connections, if any. some of the obvious characters that are known in historical record include herod the great, based off of hebrew records, casear, pilate and peter, all based off of roman records, peter's records do relate to his execution in rome, rather than his time around jerusalem. there have been around 30 other cases of kings in the region that have been id'ed in the bible and through recovered monuments and scripts, including the moabite stone or the mesha stele, the amarna letters, the babylonian chronicles which detail the siege of jerusalem by nebuchandnezzer, and the cylander of nabonius. sites such has herod's temple provide some historical record as well.

one leading idea behind the accuracy of exodus comes from the ipuwer papyrus, a poem which describes drought, devestation of crops, famine, death due to a group leaving their servitude. a curious statement in the poem mentions that "the river is blood" the ipuwer papyrus is dated to around 13BCE, while the first portions of exodus are thought to be written between 9-10 BCE.
egyptian inscriptions and the amarna letters do describe a group named the habiru that lived on the border of egypt and the sinai, basically a milita group that was hired as a border guard, however, once the habiru's raids got out of control, the egyptian record is that they were made to work manual labor instead. this is entirely speculation btw. if these people were hebrew, and scholars debate if they are based on the similar name, it is likely they would have altered from made to work, to enslaved in their records.

and yes, correct, there is no historical record of jesus during his life. the first record is a roman one written about 70 AD. there are multiple records during christ's time of his jewish contemporaries that make no mention of him at all.

[Dudebro]

the events of the bible should be refered to as religious history

So if I make up a religion can I make up my own history too? This sounds fun! Seriously though, it's either history or it's not.

[jim5cents]

absolutely, look at scientology...that is some crazy stuff

[Dudebro]

Some people would say the same thing about all religions.

[jim5cents]

yep.

Church of Dudebro

Commandments of the church of dudebro
1. Ducks are made in dudebro's image, honor all ducks, especially mallards
2. If thou sees a duck, and has bread, thou shall feed that bread to the duck.
3. Thou shall not worships any beards, unless it is dudebro's beard.

See, that was easy, religious history of the church of dudebro.

[Dudebro]

I like #2, you better feed ducks if you have bread. Heartless bastards need a commanment to do the right thing.

[Winnebagel]

Originally Posted by Dudebro

I like #2, you better feed ducks if you have bread. Heartless bastards need a commanment to do the right thing.

I guess we know what animals cannot be eaten in Dudeism (the religion of the Dudebro). That's a bummer. I guess I won't be able to join your religion Bro. Although, I respect those who do. Like I told you, as much as ducks are some of my favorite creatures and I am all for them having preserved wetlands, I do enjoy eating an occasional one as well. Forgive me for that Lord DB.

[Dudebro]

I love animals and I still eat red meat. I think as long as we aren't wasteful or killing off a species we're all good.

Btw my bad for going off topic, sometimes it just happens.

[Winnebagel]

Originally Posted by Dudebro

I love animals and I still eat red meat. I think as long as we aren't wasteful or killing off a species we're all good.

Btw my bad for going off topic, sometimes it just happens.

I agree 100%. I really respect groups like Ducks Unlimited that devote themselves to raising awareness and helping preserve wetlands for Ducks and other wee beasties.

Thanks for going off topic DB. This is the first interest I have had in this thread. No offense to any one, but I have just had so many conversations like this one in my life I am kind of over them. Carry on though people. I'll try not to interrupt your debate too much.

[jim5cents]

the problem with commandment #1 is that people interpert honor all ducks, to mean, honor them by having them as a tasty main course...yummy. so, there is some confusion and debate among the members of the church of dudebro

@winnebagel...forget the original debate, this duck convo is way better.

@dudebro, is there a way to edit the thread topic and to put it in a different section

[Dudebro]

Yes and yes. What do you want it to say and where should I move it?

[jim5cents]

Church of Dubebro, put it down in the junk section

[Dudebro]

Done and done.

[sezthemank]

I will feed ducks of course!

The fatter bigger they are,
the more there is to put in my pancakes with peking sauce.


Hmmmm crispy duck....yummmm.

[jim5cents]

i guess this is where i will reestablish what is going on here.

Welcome to the Church of Dudebro!!!
This thread started as a debate about ancient history/Bibical history, but this turned out to be way better.

Three Commandments make up Laws of Dudebro. See previous page. However, you may submit new laws or make up historical stories that how make up this churches' history. For example, the original commandments where give to Dudebro by a flock of mallards after they completed their 3000 mile migration.

[sezthemank]

Like chuck norris - Dudebro has a fist under his beard.

Dudebro being the leader of the universe,
has appointed his majasty Larry bird as the presedent of the United states of America.

[Dudebro]

I gotta say this topic is weird.
Let's change ducks to birds so we don't leave any of our avian friends out. All birds are cool and deserve our respect. Unless they poop on me, then it's on.

[jim5cents]

even pidgens? aka sky rats

[sezthemank]

Noooo pigons are nasty!

In the book of "gillette" next to the book of "bic"
it states that pigons should not be classed as bird, as they are the scum of all sky traffic,
however blips and hot air ballons are ok.
ahmen

[DrunkN]

Who are you to command us to worship this, Dudebro, who we can't even prove exists?

[sezthemank]

Originally Posted by drunkninja

Who are you to command us to worship this, Dudebro, who we can't even prove exists?

Yes true

just like jesus
there is only a picture of a bearded male that suppost to be the lord his self.
But there is no prof he exists atall!

[Kugyince]

Dudebro does bear a striking resemblence to Ahuru Mazda.

[Winnebagel]

However, I must say this, Dudebro is also famed for giving children presents on Dudemas, so we should honor his name. Truly he is good.

[EDIT]: Now that I think of it, didn't he also carve the roast beast?

[sezthemank]

Originally Posted by Tenser

Dudebro does bear a striking resemblence to Ahuru Mazda.

It all makes sence!
the beard
the wings!

Tenser is a prophet of the church of dudebro and the book of sarcasm!

i wonder if dudbro would go mad if we drew Tenser? (a prophet)

Originally Posted by Winnebagel

Dudebro is also famed for giving children presents on Dudemas

LoL

[jim5cents]

the prophet tenser...makes perfect sense if you think about it.