Best Mod - Seahawk. I wrote the descriptions for the awards while I was a mod and they're still being used.
Trophy Thief - Seahawk. If I played games still I'd take scores. Rating myself 10/10 at this.
Trophy Defender - Seahawk. Most of my scores are over 1000 days old, some getting close to 2000.
Best Forum Participant - Seahawk.
Should be obvious.
Best Newcomer - Seahawk. I'm still using the same computer that I used the first time I logged in. This counts.
Retro Uprising All Star - Seahawk. 20% more all star.
Funniest User - Seahawk. See: this post and Best Forum Participant.
Most Impressive Mastery - Seahawk. I beat Third Strike that was pretty hard.
Most Impressive Score - Seahawk. I streaked 10 wins on Third Strike at the arcade a few months ago.